Wouldn't it be nice...

Today was one of those days, where you really just want to keep eyes closed and shut out the world.  Not too sure where all these emotions are coming from.  Yes, we just had a new moon. New moons are  very positive, unlike that of a full moon which brings out the crazy. 

 Venus, the planet of love has gone into retrograde. Retrograde, meaning the planet is giving the illusion that it is spinning backwards and not forward.   I did a little digging to find out what that means...well people from the past resurface, some a good surprise and some well they should have just stay buried.  I can't shake the melancholy feeling I've had all day. 

Hearing songs that remind me of certain people,  hearing names I haven't heard in forever.  Is the universe trying to test me? See if I'm going to make the same mistake again?   I will admit I did take a long slow drive down memory lane.  I got a little to familiar with the comfort of the past. Hence why I've been so blue today. 

I'm in no rush to settle down with just anyone, and I am definitely not looking for a romp in the sheets. 

Yet my mind constantly drifts to  the feeling of being touched, my hair played with, my ear lobes being nibbled, my neck kissed and just burying my face on the chest of a man, listening to his heart beat.

I miss that today, everything to do with the opposite sex. 

One thing I have come to known over the last few years of online dating. Is that, all the single women end  up sleeping with all the same men.   It was a harsh reality when I realised how small the dating pool really was.   So, 10 months ago, I took myself out of it.  Do I regret it, no. 

Today though, I am longing to be held. To fall asleep with my head on their chest. To feel safe.  I may be fiercely independent, even I know some feelings cannot be replicated by anything other than an alpha male.

  An intellectual, self motivated,  passionately possessive, and knows what he wants, then goes and gets it man.  

So I, patiently wait for my King to arrive. Dream of him holding me in his arms, pulling me closer to him, getting forehead kisses just before sleep falls upon us. 

Do these men still exists?  Or am I too much of a dreamer?

Sometimes, you need the memories of the past to stay alive, so you can remember what each feels like. Something to look forward to.

I seem so old fashioned now.  The thought of settling down with one person, seems like a dream come true now, not a prison sentence.

These last 4 years of "casual dating"  has really changed my perspective on long term relationships.

Truly falling in love, is the hardest thing we struggle with, yet it is something we all desire more than any material object. 

Today is my day, to long for my not so perfect partner.  I don't want perfect, I'm far from it myself.  Someone who will be right there beside you when you slip.  We all slip and fall. Wouldn't it be nice, to have someone reach out their hand.   Tell you, I GOT YOU!

Yes.

I was thinking the same thing...

oh, wouldn't it be nice,

Carrie