A Different Kind of Help

You ever met someone who has left a lasting impression on you? Romantic or platonic? Years later you think about them and they still bring a smile to your face and a flutter in your heart.

I know know without a doubt these people are sent to change us.  Direct us on the path to self discovery.   

I met this lady, her name is Helene. Oh, she was an earth angel. Sent to guide me.  Guide me she did. She was in her early 70's and I was in early Thirties. Going through my first divorce with two little kids. 

 I had this cute  second hand boutique.  I loved it. I loved being my own boss, and it reflected. I was good at it.   

I met Helene here, she had a cute little stained glass studio next door.  We would talk all the time, I started slowly opening up to her. She was a retired art and drama teacher. She brought in pastels for my children and art books.  She explained, with art you can express your emotions without saying a word.   I let my children draw and draw.  At first, the pictures were very dark and heavy, but over time they started getting colourful with rainbows and bright shinning suns.   Helene was a true godsend. I remember talking to her and telling her how worried I was about providing for my children.  I started  looking into colleges  and what I would like to do.   I've always loved science,biology and anatomy. 

When I was a little girl, all I wanted to do was be a nurse. Help people get better.

After years of hospitals with my Father, I soon realised that was not what I wanted after all.

I stumbled upon massage therapy...you get to help people at their best and sometimes at their worst.  For those of you who don't know, I am anti big pharma.  Everything can be cured by all natural remedies.  Massage is simply touching and manipulating the muscles, no equipment or drugs needed.  That was what I wanted to do. So that is what i did.   With the help of my family and the encouragement of my Dear friend Helene, a few months later I was enrolled in the Massage Therapy Program at Westervelt College. I was on my way.

I've met many people on my self discovery journey, only a couple have stood out from the rest.  My firefighter friend I met while working at Tim Horton's when I was in school, was another earth angel. Even though we were never romantic,  we had a connection most wait their whole lives for.  A friendship so real and raw. His motivation and drive for life was very contagious. 

Do we meet people by chance, or by accident? 

NO.

Nothing comes to us by chance, or by accident.  We were destined to meet long before we were born. It was written into our soul contract. 

People come into our lives to teach us (Helene) some come into our life to take us through lessons(Fire Fighter)  now that brings me to present day....

I met someone while going through my online dating phase.  I talked to so many different people from all different backgrounds, I was bored and frankly ready to give up, then I met him.   Let's call him Waldo.  

Waldo, sent me a message, ok pretty standard, or so I thought.  He was anything but standard, or normal...he was different. Even his writing style was different...he used emojis when he texted...his humour was 11/10 this guy was hilarious. Our humour was identical, we laughed at the same things, the sarcasm that flowed from him was a breathe of fresh air, I didn't have to worry about offending him at all. He could dish it and take it. (just so we are clear, I only wanted companionship) he was so much fun to talk to.

We talked non stop. Never ran out of things to say.  We video chatted...our first call lasted six hours.  He was so much fun.What was happening to me?

I got hooked. I couldn't wait to talk with him, he was like a drug, I couldn't get enough...

Then he was gone. 

We were merely strangers who enjoyed talking openly with each other.  Why did it feel like a  part of me was taken when he left? I have never missed someone so much.   Up until I met Waldo, I never wanted a relationship, I didn't want the responsibility of caring for another person again.   With him, it all came so easy, I wanted to take care of him in every way.  I wanted it all.

I was my true authentic self. I didn't have to wear  any masks with him not even makeup. It was  just him and I.  He brought out my true feminine side.  For once I didn't have to be in control, I felt safe.   

 Meeting Waldo, has been a blessing and a heartbreak. 

 I got to experience something I never believed existed. Yet it found me.

He showed me what love felt like, even for just a short time. 

Those few months have been the best months of my life. For once it was not sexual. We enjoyed us. I enjoyed him for who he was.

Of course we were both slightly broken, but together we were whole.  I will forever love this man, and all the funny moments we shared. 

It may have been only a  short time that we were together, but the memories will live on for lifetimes. 

He will be impossible to replace.

I can say without a doubt, he was a true reflection of myself.  We even shared the same birthday.

 I have no idea where he is or what he is doing now, one thing I do know.  I see him every night in my dreams. 

He keeps the dream alive.  That somewhere out there,  is another Waldo just waiting to take my breath away. 

forever and ever amen, 

Carrie xoxo